105. Into Dumbness
And that WAS just the prologue. With the Enterprise
in the ocean. Because, you know, reasons. That can't possibly exist. “Do y'know how ridiculous it is to hide a starship at the bottom of the ocean?” asks Mr. Scott. Go Scotty.
Other things that make no sense in Star Trek Into Darkness
- Beaming from Earth to the Klingon Empire. Revisiting one of the most stupid things from the prior movie, the transporter is now a magic device (even in the context of Star Trek technology) with no limitations that essentially makes spaceships obsolete. Except the whole this-makes-spaceships-obsolete factor is totally ignored.
- Khan hiding his crew inside torpedoes. Really? You try protecting your people by placing them in explosives? I'm laughing at the “superior intellect.”
- Oh, Admiral Bad Guy's dastardly plan involves the Enterprise firing these torpedoes, but since they have no fuel (that part of the mechanism having been removed to fit the cryogenically frozen people in them) they would not have reached their target and blown up in empty space had they been fired. The admiral is as bad with science as J.J. Abrams is.
- Carol Marcus strips down in the shuttlecraft for no reason (except to provide a glimpse of Alice Eve in her underwear to use in the trailer).
- At no point in the film does anyone ever learn who Khan is. They know his name is “Khan,” that he's physically quite the specimen, and he tells them that he's from the past and that his crew is in cryostasis, but no one ever thinks to look into any of this. The only character that might ever learn of this is Spock, from asking future-Spock, but if so it happens off-screen and the audience is never clued in, let alone any of the other characters.
- Why use Khan at all? This is not a story that requires him. Could be any villain if you're going to write him as blandly as this.
- Super blood that cures everything including death. Not to worry, that won't have any ramifications for society.
- Ripping off entire sections of Wrath of Khan for the sake of ripping off entire sections of Wrath of Khan.
I could go on, but I'll spare you. For now. Friend of the strip Erik L. has his own thoughts on the movie
if you want more right away.
May 29, 2013 - 12:01 AM Pac | Link
Were the natives lured into the jungle or where they persuing our heroes? Or, uh, were they lured because that got them farther away from the volcano? Not sure of any of this, just asking.
The ocean makes no sense, 'cuz they can just be in space, undetected as usual. I *could* buy that there's tech than enables the ship to exist in water, but yeah,why bother?
I also don't recall if the film explained why Spock had to be in the volcano; was there an attempt? If not, how would whatever he was doing there (halting the volcano from erupting?) have been done from up above?
Kirk got them to chase him to get them away from the “kill zone,” which would make sense if the “cold fusion” bomb — please, there isn't anything cold about cold fusion, it just means it's not as hot as regular fusion, like in a star — had some kind of fallout, but it didn't. I could let this one go if there had been even some throwaway dialogue to suggest some danger to the natives if all went as planned, but it seemed to be in case it didn't go as planned, but that means, according to Spock, that everything on the planet would have died, so a “kill zone” is absurd.
They couldn't beam the “cold fusion device” into the volcano? (Maybe because they're &#%$ing UNDERWATER?) It couldn't have been calibrated/set from the shuttle and dropped in by itself?
Going into the water, even if technologically possible (it's the coming out that is really problematic, because of how the mass of the Enterprise is distributed; the pressure would probably snap the saucer off when they tried to surface), is counter-productive in all kinds of ways. These people have barely invented the wheel, they don't have satellites or anything else to hide from in orbit.